Tips to Get Through the Holidays – Part Two

Posted on October 28, 2022 by oatricou

13. During the holidays, get out of yourself by giving service, any service, whether it is to the program, to needy individuals, or to the communi13. During the holidays, get out of yourself by giving service, any service, whether it is to the program, to needy individuals, or to the community; Do something that may be a little hard for you, but that you know you will feel good about later. Give yourself something to build self-respect.
14. Plan, plan, plan! Be proactive toward the holidays and the meals. Don’t just sit back and hope for the best. Rehearse in your mind over and over exactly what you will do, particularly what, where and when you will eat. Pray just before sitting down to the meal.
15. Just before sitting down to eat or being served; go to a private room somewhere in the house or restaurant, call your sponsor, and commit what you are about to eat, as well as what you will choose not to eat. It makes no difference whether you get your sponsor or an answering machine – it is your commitment.
16. If you are visiting others for a holiday dinner, it is up to you to know what is being served and whether it is something that you choose not to eat. Call the host ahead of time. Plan accordingly. People understand others’ food limitations. Even people without our disease have foods they don’t eat for one reason or another. Volunteer to bring something that is good for you. The host then thinks you are gracious, while you are taking care of yourself!
17. Remember that you are responsible for what you eat. It’s easy when sitting with family to slip into old childish roles where you feel you must eat whatever you are given. This does not have to be. We are adults and are responsible for our own choices. It is up to us to take care of ourselves. It is up to us to set whatever parameters or boundaries we need to set with our families.
18. Gratitude. There is nothing as good for staying abstinent, particularly during the Thanksgiving season, as focusing on the many things we have, rather than what we do not have. Write gratitude lists frequently.
19. For many of us, the most dangerous period for our abstinence is after we have successfully gone through a difficult occasion. The insanity of our disease subconsciously or consciously tells us to reward ourselves with food because we did so well yesterday. Or we suffer some type of letdown about the occasion because it didn’t meet our expectations. Some of us feel an emptiness after holidays that in the past we have tried to fill with food. For these reasons, plan to go to meetings the next day after the holiday.

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Tips to Get Through the Holidays – Part One

Posted on September 27, 2022 by oatricou
  1. Focus on the true meaning of the holiday or event rather than the food orgy that sometimes accompanies it.
  2. Don’t set yourself up to feel bad because of unrealistic expectations of what the holiday will bring. Sometimes we’re with family; sometimes with friends, sometimes we are alone.
  3. Face the reality of the situation beforehand. For example, if a family occasion almost always turns unpleasant, plan not to be a part of the unpleasantness. If you’re going to be alone, face that you may be sad, Plan to deal with it without excess food.
  4. Build up your recovery bank account before and during the holidays by attending lots of meetings, working extra hard on your 12 steps, and using all the tools, especially service. Keep in constant contact with your sponsor. The disease doesn’t take a holiday, nor should our recovery.
  5. Keep your OA phone numbers with you always. Use them.
  6. Know the limits of your recovery. When in doubt, avoid persons, places and things that have in the past triggered overeating. The party is not worth it. Choose not to attend if you feel it may be a major problem, remember that abstinence, one day at a time, must be the highest priority in your life. Without it, all other things suffer.
  7. From the food perspective, treat the holiday like any other day. Our disease never takes a holiday.
  8. Plan something special for yourself during the time other people are eating sugary desserts that you choose not to include in your food plan. Special tea, hot water with lemon, fruit … anything that is special for you and allowable in your plan.
  9. Whether attending a holiday gathering or ordinary party, choose to focus on the people rather than the food. Pick out people and engage them in real conversation. If they don’t want to participate, move on to the next person. People like to talk about themselves. Ask them questions about their life, their work, their families, and really listen to their answers.
  10. Try to genuinely connect with people at the holiday table. Food is secondary.
  11. There is no law that says you must give out Halloween candy. We’re not doing these kids a favor by giving them junk food Give nutritious snacks, toys, or money. Do not give out things you would not consume yourself. Then there will be no problem with leftovers.
  12. Set an extra place beside you (in your mind or in reality) at the table for your Higher Power.

More tips next month!

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I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I put off doing a 9th Step for some time.  I was afraid of the reactions from my loved ones, to whom I did my 9th Step.  I was afraid of being misunderstood and rejected.  How could I even begin to think that I wondered?  These were my family members – most significantly my children.  Still, the fear was real and almost paralyzing.

Having come back to OAHOW after all those long years away, I knew the only way to keep my abstinence and remain in recovery was to work the steps, and that included Step 9.  And so I did.  Both the 4th Step and then the 9th Step were, for me, the most difficult but ultimately the most freeing steps I worked (and continue to work).  I felt real humility for the first time that I can remember.  I know that those steps are meant, among other things, to do just that because I played the resentful “victim” most of my life.  Once I did my 9th Step the healing began, owning only what was mine to own without blame and cleaning up “my side of the street” expecting nothing in return except the continued gift of abstinence.  Fortunately, in my case, my 9th Step was accepted with love and forgiveness not only given to me through grace, but also given to myself – something I could never remember doing.

Since then, I have become a Step sponsor.  I humbly try to use my experience, strength and hope to help others “unpack” their bags.  Doing so helps keep me honest, open, and willing.  And only by God’s grace have I come to know this “new freedom and new happiness” as a result of working the steps.  A promise realized.

Posted on September 14, 2022 by oatricou | Leave a comment